How to Meet Guys Outside the Classroom
Tired of everyone in school knowing all of your business when it comes to your love life? Even if your school is relatively large, when you and all your love interests are connected to the same place, gossip about your last hook-up can spread like wildfire. So how to avoid it? Meet guys outside of school. Here's how:
1. Hang out at off-campus establishments and start a conversation by giving a compliment – If you see a guy wearing a really funny shirt, make a joke about how you have that same shirt in a different color! Or if you see a guy with a unique style, tell him about it. Sure it may seem strange complimenting a guy on his clothing, but with a little light-hearted humor, you're likely to find that the guy will probably be very flattered. Guys secretly love compliments, and they usually take them as a sign that a girl is into them when they receive one. So if you see a hottie with the hottest version of the iPhone, give him a compliment and then get him to give you his digits.
Tip: Try not to make your compliments too focused on physical appearance, meaning you might want to avoid complimenting his biceps or cute butt. Compliments about a person's physical appearance can give off the wrong first impression. It could easily make a guy think of you as a potential hook-up, rather than a potential date. Depending on how shy he is, you might even embarrass him and turn him off to you completely.
2. Hang out in the quad – Get some fresh air, and see some fresh faces. Being outdoors is a great place to meet guys, especially if you are at a park, because there are so many activities: walking your dog, playing sports, reading, and sometimes tanning (shirtless hottie alert!). See a guy doing something that catches your eye, go up to him and ask if you can join! It will give you two something fun to do on your first encounter, and will definitely make him remember you next time. In fact you might just have to set up another date for your next trip to the park.
Tip: When approaching a new guy, it's always best to do it with the least amount of people. So instead of inviting your whole crew of girlfriends to picnic with you, ask your best friend to come. This will make a guy feel less intimidated if he decides he wants to talk to you and it will ensure that you get his undivided attention when you do meet.
3. Take up a physical activity or sport that interests you – Whether you're into hip-hop dance, ultimate frisbie or capoeira, do something you know you will like (and oh yeah, something that is co-ed!). Activities like these can help you loosen up, will get your adrenaline running, and will give you the chance to hang out and flirt with some hot athletic guys! If you spot a guy that you are interested in, try pairing up with him, or volunteer to be on his team. Chat with him and show him you are as interested in him as you are in the game you are playing, and you might just be able to score a date.
Tip: Do not pick an activity solely on the basis of how many hot guys might be there. Make sure you're actually good at it, too! While extreme roller hockey might sound good at the time, if you're not coordinated or can't (ahem) skate, you might end up with more bruises than hot dates.
4. Volunteer for a cause you find important – If you're an animal lover, volunteer at a shelter or work with kids at an after school daycare. Of course, whatever activity you choose, make sure it's something with a lot of volunteers so you can meet your humanitarian Prince Charming. Check out different programs at dosomething.org/.
Tip: Make sure whatever activity you do choose is something close to your heart. Choosing something you genuinely care about will make the experience rewarding whether or not you meet someone. And if you find someone who cares about the same causes as you, your attraction to each other will be more than just physical. Hey, it worked for Brangelina!
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Hey, in our world there is nothing wrong with being a "cheap date." You just want to spend time with your crush, and that shouldn't cost a fortune. Check out this original date, and come back each week for a new idea for you and your sweetie.
Pet Play Date
Are you two animal lovers? Buy a bunch of doggie treats and visit your local animal shelter or ASPCA. Seeing your sweetie with all those furry creatures is sure to melt your heart.
Click here to find an ASPCA near you.
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On Wednesday, my boyfriend and I celebrated our year and a half anniversary.
Overall, we have a great relationship. We have designated date nights, cook dinner together, and hang out with the same crowd of friends at school. We even share pet fish!
When we’re at school, he and I see each other every day, and take time to visit each other when we're not. I love scenic countryside at his home in Connecticut and I especially adore his family. Sometimes, I even like his friends!
Ok, that last bit was a joke – I really do like Jeff's friends. They always make me laugh! But, I'm afraid to admit, I've become of those clichéd dramatic girlfriends who gets upset when her boyfriend doesn't pay attention to her while his guy friends are around.
It's hard to describe why I get annoyed in these situations. Sometimes it's because I drove for 2 hours to spend time with Jeff, and instead of doing something together, we hang out with his friends. Other times it's because when we hang out with his friends, I feel like an outsider – especially when they talk about boy things. I've never been "one of the guys," no matter what group of boys I hang out with so it's even harder for me to blend in to a group of guys I barely know!
I've done my best to relax in these situations, but I can't help but wish for a "happy medium" in terms of how my boyfriend distributes his attention. Of course, I have talked to him about it, and we are still going strong, but I don't want to come off as the crazy, psycho girlfriend!
What do you think? How does your boyfriend act towards you when his friends are around? How much attention should a boy give his girlfriend in such situations?
How often do you look at your ex-boyfriend's profile? If a girl writes on your crush's Facebook wall, do you immediately try to look at her profile to size up your competition? Have you memorized the interests and favorite movies of the cute boy in class — you know, the one you've never actually spoken to?
Little things like this done in a repeated fashion means you are becoming a bit obsessive and could be crossing into online stalker territory. Yes, the term "stalker" may be harsh. But there is a firm difference between casually glancing at your ex's MySpace and religiously analyzing every aspect of the Facebook page of some guy you have never spoken to.
How to Do It
There are some pretty sneaky ways to get the dirt on people — whether you are officially their "friend" or not.
-Subscribe to the blog of a total stranger. Does your crush have a blog? Subscribe to it! Then you can follow his day-to-day life without ever having to speak to him. Just try not to mention his life in everyday conversation — people might get suspicious.
-Utilize the newsfeed. Facebook and MySpace now list updates your friends have made on the main page. It's there for you to read, so why not check to see who has added scandalous photos, or how many girls have commented on your boyfriend's wall?
-Follow the paper trail. Who is that girl writing on your ex-boyfriend's wall, and what is he saying back to her? Just click "Wall-to-Wall" to get the lowdown on their entire Facebook conversation. There are no secrets on the Internet.
-Google it! If you don't know that suspicious girl or guy writing flirtatious words on your ex's wall, type her or his name into Google and get the dirt!
-Abuse your knowledge. If you happen to have the password of an ex, a crush, or a "frienemy," then why not log on to his or her account and scope out every aspect of his or her life? It's the only way you will be able to read private messages!
-Join a new regional network. This works especially well for college students. If someone has her or his Facebook set to block people who aren't in their regional network, just temporarily join their regional network (keep your fingers crossed that they aren't super private)! If it works, you will have full access to your target's profile — and that person's friends.
-Create a fake profile. If you can't crack into someone's profile, just create a false identity for yourself. Pick a false name, age, and location, and add some random people you don't know. You can sell your "fake self" even more by creating a new AIM screen name. Then, when the time is right, send a friend request to your person of interest. Go big or go home, right?
How to Avoid It
The scariest part of online stalking is that you may never know if it is happening to you. There are ways, however, to secure your profile so that all of your personal information isn't available for the world to see.
Check out the privacy settings on your preferred social networking Web site. Make your profile and blog private so that only those you add as friends can view your information. If you suspect an acquaintance of stalking you online, limit that person's profile access so you can control exactly what he or she can see on your profile. You can prevent that person from viewing any personal information whatsoever. Or, if you are really worried, block them from viewing your profile altogether.
Don't list your phone number, address, or any other information that can be used to track your whereabouts. If you are worried about someone taking online "stalking" to the next level, don't ever make your exact location available via your Facebook status or away message. So, for example: "Out to the 7:30 showing of Twilight at the mall" is way too much information. "At the movies" is much better. Also, don't list your real birthday. Not only can this be used in online stalking, but it can also be used to steal your identity! To avoid this, give a fake birthday when signing up for the Web site and check the "do not display my birth date" box on your profile.
You can also turn on Google Alerts and monitor what pages with your name show up online. The results are sent right to your personal e-mail. Check this out!
How to Kick It
If you are looking to kick the obsessive habits, the easiest way to do it is by swearing off social networking Web sites — at least for a little while. In doing this, you will not only be ridding yourself of the obsessive online "stalking" habits, but you may find yourself with extra time for things like...homework.
However, social networks can be addicting. If you can't rid yourself of them completely — don't worry, most of us can't — try to spend as little time on them as possible. Set up your account so you receive e-mail notifications whenever someone has left you a comment or sent you a message, and only check your profile when you get such e-mails.
If you can't seem to stay away from the personal page of your ex, consider defriending him. Ending a friendship on Facebook or MySpace does not mean ending the relationship in real life! This will keep you from obsessively checking his page, and may force you to call him once in a while — the way people used to do it before social networking became big!
And if you always seem to find yourself on Facebook or Myspace, try to find something else on the site to do. Browse bumper stickers, play games, start a blog about kicking the stalking habit — there's plenty to choose from!
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Hey, in our world there is nothing wrong with being a "cheap date." You just want to spend time with your crush, and that shouldn't cost a fortune. Check out this original date, and come back each week for a new idea for you and your sweetie.
Salsa Night
And we don’t mean chips and dip. Many salsa clubs have free lessons at the beginning of certain nights. Go with your guy and even if you’re nervous at first, once you get warmed up it will be muy caliente.
Click here if you and your sweetie want to try salsa dancing at home.
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE CUDDLE KISS
Perfect for those rainy days when the two of you are stuck inside with nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company. Face toward each other and kiss while lying down and cuddling. It will make you both feel warm and cozy, and you’ll find that you can never kiss for too long.
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE SOAP OPERA KISS
When you can’t find the words to express how deeply you feel for someone, a heartfelt kiss can say a lot. Hold his face gently with your hands as you plant your lips on his. This kiss shows how much you care about him; it allows you to feel close to each other and separate yourselves from the rest of the busy world around you.
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE EURO KISS
Try this kiss to show him how worldly of a girl you are, even if you haven’t quite made it off of this continent yet. Whether greeting him or saying a quick good-bye, kiss him once on each cheek. Chances are he’ll think it’s cute, and might even want to plan your European getaway!
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What exactly does the expression “double standard” mean? Typically, it’s a set of rules or principles applying more strictly to one group than to another. We’re familiar with it when it comes to boys and girls.
You might hate the fact that your parents were more lenient with your older brother than they are with you when it comes to curfew. Or how you need someone to walk you back late at night, when guys can just walk themselves home. It can get even more frustrating when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex. Why are boys considered players for dating five girls and girls are considered fast or easy when they do the same?
Trust me — I feel you. I hate to be underestimated, judged or offered extra help just because I’m a girl. So what do you do? Before you throw your hands up and wish you were a boy so you had more freedom, consider the reasons that make you the stronger sex and the fact that boys also face double standards.
We may sometimes have a higher ladder to climb to get to the top or even be taken seriously in some professions, yet remember that those traits of hard work and determination are admired and what strong women are made of.
Remember that with the small stuff, guys find certain things unfair too. Boys often get the responsibility of making the first move, even though they are as insecure as we are about approaching someone they like. Girls are often just dubbed as 'flirty' when they flirt forwardly rather than guys who get labeled a sleaze who hits on every girl.Whether you’re a boy or a girl, there are always double standards. I’ve seen guys often pick up the tab for girls, and pay to get into places when girls have gotten in for free.
Things are changing so be conscious, but don’t let the standards dictate you. Whatever obstacle, there is always a way around.
Tell me, what double standards have you faced?
Xoxo,
Divya Bahl
Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE "SEE YOU LATER" KISS:
Trying to make a memorable impression on your new guy? Catch him at school for a quick peck on the lips between classes, but say nothing. It'll make his mind spin until he sees you again.
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE "I'M SORRY" KISS
Admit it. As girls we are usually the more perfect (ahem, not to mention right) ones in the relationship, but sometimes we too can screw up. After an argument, kiss his lips softly and gently, lifting away from his lips slowly when you are done. It’s an apology that he's sure to accept.
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE NIBBLE KISS:
Give him tiny little pecks over and over again, like you’re nibbling at his lips. CAUTION: Do not attempt on empty stomach!
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE EAR KISS:
Usually when we look at someone we always focus on their eyes, nose, cheeks, and mouth. But since ears aren’t on the front of your face, they usually get shafted for attention. Show your guy that you love all his features! Gently kiss and nibble on his ear, and you’ll show those auditory organs the appreciation they deserve.
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Looking to surprise your sweetie? Try these creative kisses and check back for a new way to kiss each and every day.
THE FOOTBALL KISS:
Let’s face it, as much as we try, some of us are just not cut out for the Friday night football scene. Stuck at the stadium with your guy? Make your own game out of it! Give him a cute three-second-long peck every time your team scores! It will give you a reason to get into the game.
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Hey, in our world there is nothing wrong with being a "cheap date." You just want to spend time with your crush, and that shouldn't cost a fortune. Check out this original date, and come back each week for a new idea for you and your sweetie.
Zoo Hoo!
You probably haven’t been to the zoo since your grade school field trip — it’s about time you paid those animals a visit. But now there will be no holding hands with a school partner so you don’t get lost — it’ll just be you and your cutie canoodling by the camels, the monkeys, the bears, the lions....
Click here to find a zoo store near you.
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