Instead of "Friends since Friends: The Kinship of Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston," we have "The War Rages On: Heidi's Next Move against Lauren" splashed across our magazines. Or we have poor pitiful Jennifer still pining after Brad while Angie frolicks about with their brood of 6. The world could hardly wait for Jen to finally speak out about Angelina's relationship with her ex. She says Angie's comments about being excited to see Brad at work everyday (while Jennifer was still married to him) were uncool. Yeah, they were pretty uncool. Angelina won the prize and the insta family, why bring out sordid details about how you fell in love with a married man now? Especially since she has always denied being romantically involved with Brad while he was still married. Yet, now Brad and Angie are all pissy because Jen spoke her mind! In the meantime, the public is devouring this information like a hungry pack of hyenas.
Why are we more interested in reading about feuds than friendships? Think about how often you catch yourself wondering why that coworker or peer doesn't like you. Knowing someone doesn't like you is unsettling. It creates a little churn in your stomach. Odds are you did nothing wrong, unless you and your slippery boyfriend peddled her alleged sex tape to the highest bidder...but I digress. We create frenemies by making our lives complicated. Instead of simply acknowledging a mutual dislike between two people and learning to coexist, we have to make it worse with catty comments and faux sincerity. We're all guilty of being extraordinarily nice to someone we don't particularly care for one minute and the second they turn their backs it's "What an utter 'enter word here,' " and a full blown mêlée ensues when said person becomes aware of our snarky comments.
Forgive and forget. I'm rubber, you're glue. All things we learned at the ripe age of three, but can never seem to grasp. Imagine your best friend deciding to date your boyfriend. Not so easy to say "Hey Lauren, it's okay I forgive you for supposedly hooking up with Justin Bobby, let's do lunch," is it? When someone makes an unflattering comment about your choice of ensemble for the day, it's almost irresistible to make the backhanded compliment "Well those jeans you're wearing are fabulous. They totally mask your thighs...." Why do we always have to get in that last word?
Being mean is easier than being nice. They say once a good girl goes bad, she's gone forever. It's so easy to get caught up in petty and catty drama, taking the high road is what really takes a lot of will power. Give it a try next time and don't let yourself become the next good girl gone bad....
Do you sometimes find it easier to be mean than nice?
Peace Out,
Lauren
View/Post comment
Great Websites for Turkey Day recipes!
Thanksgiving's around the corner, and while I may see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in person for the first time this year, I won't have the luxury of eating a at home with my family. After twenty-one years of mom-prepared feasts and intimate holiday gatherings, I am left to fend for myself. On the one hand, I love to cook, so taking over the kitchen will be nice opportunity to test out some new recipes. It's the grocery shopping, however, that scares me. Not only is there usually a rush in the days leading up to major holidays, which means the already cramped and crowded New York stores will be nearly impossible to navigate, but grocery shopping without a car immediately limits the amount of items one can carry home. Adding a gallon of milk to my cart instantly equals workout for my walk home. Let's just say that I'm going to have to start early and make multiple trips or con my boyfriend into helping me lug the heavy bags to my apartment.
Grocery shopping aside, I've already started making my recipe list for the big day. Luckily, I won't have to fix the entire meal since a few of my friends have planned a potluck dinner, but given the excitement of the season I am planning on going all out. So far I've been thinking about pumpkin pie, chocolate chess pie, pecan pie, sweet potato souffle, pumpkin soup, creamed corn, squash casserole, stuffing, and green beans...basically everything but the turkey (which I hope someone else is supplying!). I know this sounds like a lot, (especially since it will have to be schlepped to Brooklyn) but I am just really excited.
One of my all time favorite recipes which I found last year on foodnetwork.com is Paula Deen's pumpkin pie. Not only is it extremely easy but it is one of the tastiest pies I've ever had...the secret ingredient is cream cheese which makes for a cheesecake-esque pumpkin pie which is to die for! Other than foodnetwork.com, check out marthastewart.com for recipes as well as holiday decorating ideas. Recently I've found allrecipes.com to be pretty useful, too, since a lot of people post reviews. A lot of experienced cooks actually write very detailed descriptions on everything from oven temperature to added ingredients.
Love,
Amanda
One of my friends recently broke up with her boyfriend only to discover the grisly details of their breakup plastered all over Facebook a few days later. Upon changing his relationship status, his friends wrote on his wall asking what happened and why he was now listed as single. Instead of keeping the information about his relationship private, or even telling his friends in person or on the phone, the boy decided to respond on his friends' walls telling them everything about their messy breakup — for everyone to see. The next time my friend signed on, she was greeted with a mini-feed detailing some very personal information. Not only was she really hurt by his actions, but the way he reacted to their separation made her doubt that she would be able to remain friends with him in the future.
This habit of kissing and telling, or rather getting ditched and telling seems to be more common due to all the celebrities who share their breakup stories in magazines and on TV shows. Example: When John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston broke up, John decided to tell the paparazzi all about it. Most recently, Taylor Swift appeared on Ellen and talked about her breakup with Joe Jonas saying, "I'm not even going to remember the guy who broke up with me on the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18." The fact that she was dumped over the phone is totally uncool, but telling millions of viewers about it isn't so hot either.
Celebs are a big influence in some people's lives and seeing them air their dirty laundry to the world almost makes it seem okay for us to do the same even if we aren't in gossip magazines. After getting dumped, I think people's first reaction is to tell everyone how awful their ex was as a way to make themselves feel better. But, in the end it only reflects poorly on the person who is blabbing personal details to everyone they know.
What do you think about people who broadcast all the details of their bad breakups? Do you think that celebs are setting a bad example and making it okay for us to get ditched and tell?
xo
Caitlin
Check out Taylor Swift on Ellen
Amber and Nicole had to talk. Like, really talk. There had always been a hint of competition between the next-door neighbors — who sold more Girl Scout cookies, who got to be Mary in the church Christmas pageant (and who had to be the donkey), whose science experiments didn't burn down the family garage. But this latest event was beyond. (We're not entirely sure what happened between them — something involving a debate tournament, a paper shredder, and a frozen bra — but we know it was ugly.) Amber, always the peacemaker of the two, left a voice mail for Nicole. "Come over — we've gotta talk." No response. She wrote on Nicole's wall: "No, really, we've gotta talk." Nada. Pennies thrown at Nicole's bedroom window, pithy texts, a note tucked under the collar of Nicole's family's dog — nothing. If Amber ever wanted to have a real talk with Nicole, she was going to have to pull out the big guns: hot chocolate. Spiced.
The spicy-cocoa scent wafted through Amber's kitchen, and she carefully carried the mug of steaming cocoa outside onto the porch. She stood there for a few minutes, sipping and hoping. And sure enough, who came creeping out of her house wearing her old PowerPuff Girls pj's? Nicole. "Um...I couldn't help but smell your hot chocolate...." Nicole mumbled, looking down at her puffy slippers. Amber had the power here. "Come inside and have some," she said. "After we talk."*
Ingredients
3 packets instant hot chocolate mix
¾ tsp ground cinnamon
1 large pinch chili powder
½ cup whole milk
1 ½ cups water
Directions
1) Put hot chocolate mix, ground cinnamon, and chili powder in a heat-safe bowl. Stir to combine.
2) Put milk and water in a small saucepan and bring to a boil.
3) When liquid is boiling, pour into the bowl with the dry ingredients. Stir to combine and break up any clumps of spices.
4) Divide between two mugs — and drink up!
*Results may vary.
View/Post comment
Just when Americans take a step forward in American history, Californians have to go and ban gay marriage.
Last Tuesday was a historic win for Senator Barack Obama being elected the first black president. America has certainly come a long way from the days of Jim Crow and segregation. However, a triumphant day for African — Americans was a miserable day for another part of the American community — the gay community.
As voters of all ages lined up to cast their ballots on November 4, Californians had a decision to make: to legalize or ban gay marriage. Gay and straight celebrities donated money and used their fame to stress the importance of saying no to Proposition 8 to save gay marriage. Ellen DeGeneres who recently married longtime love Portia de Rossi made efforts to explain the confusing language of Prop 8: "The wording of Prop 8 is tricky. It's like if someone asked you, 'You don't want dessert, right?' But you do want dessert so you say, 'Yes,' which really means you don't want dessert. And if you say, 'No,' which means you do want dessert — it sounds like you don't. Either way, you don't get what you want. See — confusing. Just like Prop 8." However, despite efforts to raise awareness about the importance of saying no to Prop 8, it passed by just over 52 precent of the vote, casting a dark cloud over one of the most historical days in American history.
Many are unsettled by the decision, yet others like Courtney Love are still confused by the wording of Prop 8 and think saying yes was a good thing even though they meant no!
As Americans took one step forward on election day, we took one step backwards. During the civil rights era, a black man as president was an unfathomable idea as many African-Americans were struggling to simply sit in the front of the bus. This year America has accomplished what many believed would never happen in their lifetime. If America can accept a black president, why can't our country accept gay marriage? Americans live under the belief that there should be a separation between church and state, yet many constantly argue that marriage can only be a union between a man and a woman.
Senator Joe Biden says he and Obama will preserve homosexuals right to civil unions, but that's not enough! Telling someone that they only have the right to a civil union is like telling someone they only have the right to sit at the back of the bus. It's like marriage is some exclusive club, and you need a "straight" card to receive membership, implying the people left out are not good enough or somehow less of a person. Gay people do not choose to be gay any more than a person chooses the color of her skin. Just because you are born a little different should not prevent you from exercising your rights. What are Americans afraid of? Why is gay marriage still an issue?
People should be able to live their lives however they want. No one stops Hugh Hefner from living like a modern-day polygamist. Although he is not married to any of his many girlfriends, we still glamorize his philandering ways with shows like the "Girls Next Door." I think it's sad that voters in California can't see past their own prejudices and accept something that has no effect whatsoever on their own lives. A gay couple's love for each other is no different than a straight couple's, and gay couples should be able to declare their love in whatever way they choose. If that means marriage, go for it! It shouldn't be something left to the government or the voters to decide.
Peace and love,
Lauren
Watch Hillary Duff's PSA defending homosexuality below.
What do you think of the passing of Proposition 8? View/Post comment
If you watched the vice-presidential debate last Thursday, you saw a lot of awkward smiling (Joe Biden), winking (Sarah Palin) and question-dodging (both of them). What you didn’t see was much agreement between the two candidates.
Except on one issue.
Both Joe Biden and Sarah Palin expressed unwavering support for the State of Israel. In fact, Palin even said, "I’m so encouraged to know that we both love Israel, and I think that is a good thing to get to agree on, Senator Biden. I respect your position on that."
Senator Biden and Governor Palin are on opposite sides of the political spectrum on almost every policy question you could think of. So it seems a bit unlikely that they’d find common ground on the subject of Israel, a country that only seems to make headlines when something violent happens in the region.
What’s the big deal? Why do the presidential and vice-presidential candidates actually agree on this one point?
Well, it turns out that the U.S. and Israel have a long history of friendship. After the Holocaust, there was a lot of international support for the establishment of a Jewish state, but the governments of many countries felt that supporting the creation of Israel would anger Arab citizens living in the area, and would be politically costly. Members of the U.S. State Department, in fact, strongly discouraged President Harry Truman from recognizing Israel as a new country. But for whatever reason—whether it was compassion for the Jewish people, of whom six million had just been murdered, or because he hoped to get the Jewish vote in the next election—President Truman was the first world leader to recognize the new State of Israel. That decision kick-started sixty years of a unique relationship between the two countries.
Not everyone thinks the U.S.-Israel relationship is a good thing. Since the day it was established, Israel has been in nearly constant conflict with its Arab neighbors over the question of who owns what land—and that conflict often plays out in violence and war. Some argue that the U.S. is too quick to take Israel’s side, and that American support for Israel alienates Arab countries who would otherwise be our friends.
But when discussing the U.S.-Israel relationship, a lot of people from both sides of the political aisle will say that the friendship between the two countries centers on shared values, and that support for those values outweighs everything else. These “values” are ideals with bipartisan support because they’re at the core of the American values system.
Both countries are democracies, for example, with an uncensored press and a commitment to religious freedom and equality. Those kinds of shared values help explain why Israel was a key ally during the Cold War and is now one on the War on Terror. Many also feel that Israel’s location in the Middle East—and the intel it collects as a result of its location—is a major strategic asset to America.
I think the way this relationship transcends party lines is fascinating. And at this time of bitter divisiveness, maybe it takes an outsider like Israel to remind us that at heart, we’re all fighting for the same principles—democracy, freedom, equality—regardless of whom we vote for on November 4.
What do you think?
xoxo,
Katie
Before you go anywhere, head to AA.com for great deals on flights.
Jen wasn’t sure what to do. She had been dating her boyfriend, Matt, for just over a month, but she was already bored with him. It didn’t make sense: All of her girlfriends were jealous of her — Matt was the perfect catch — but she just wasn’t feeling any sparks. Each time they went out, she’d feel like something was missing. So on Valentine’s Day, Jen decided she needed to make a true effort since she knew Matt would be going all out (he was the perfect catch, after all). She made him heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies with pink and red frosting and a thermos of chocolate milk. Jen was so excited to give Matt her homemade gift, but when she surprised Matt with her dessert, he told her he was lactose-intolerant.
“Figures,” she said to herself. She spent hours baking and decorating those cookies, and she felt like it was a sign — this relationship was doomed. Matt could tell that Jen was disappointed, so he grabbed a cookie before she could put them away and gulped down some chocolate milk. Yup, there was her second sign: This guy was obsessed. Matt was way more into her than she was into him, and she had to end it fast.
The next night, Jen invited Matt over to tell him in person that they needed to break up. He had been up all night puking (hey, he drank the milk of his own free will), and she figured she should just get it over with now so she wouldn’t have to feel guilty twice. When he came over, she explained that she didn’t think they were meshing. But he refused to believe her, saying he felt “a connection.” Jen didn’t know what to say anymore, so she took out her pièce de résistance — freshly cooked, extra-gooey grilled cheese sandwiches (she threw on an extra slice of cheese for good measure). “It’s not you, it’s me, I swear,” Jen said. “Want to take a bite? They’re itty-bitty — one bite won’t hurt, right?” Matt took one look at the mini sandwiches and ran for the door. Jen never had to worry about his phone calls anymore. And she enjoyed her grilled cheese — all by herself. It was delicious.
Ingredients
3 slices American cheese
2 slices whole-grain bread
1 slice tomato (if you want)
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
Preparation
1. Put 1 slice of cheese on bread, then add a tomato slice, then the other two slices of cheese. Top with second piece of bread.
2. Heat 1 tablespoon butter in pan until it melts. Coat pan with melted butter and add sandwich.
3. After about a minute, check to see if bottom is golden brown. If it is, flip and cook other side, adding rest of butter. Gently press sandwich down. After 1 minute, remove from pan.
4. Cut sandwich twice horizontally and twice vertically, like you’re making a tic-tac-toe board, to create nine mini grilled cheese bites.
5. Serve and enjoy.
I was walking to class one day last summer when my friend came up and anxiously asked me if I’d seen recent postings on JuicyCampus. I’d never heard of the site but rushed to the computer lab to check it out. I was shocked to see my name as the headline of a thread full of cruel comments. They ranged from calling me a “fat wannabe dancer” (dancing is my lifelong passion) to describing how I “whore [myself] out to guys” (I’ve never even had sex!). One comment read, “Tracey told me someone asked her when she was due because she looked pregnant.” That was true, but I had only told a small group of people about that. It really hurt to realize one of my close friends had posted that. It was sickening, and I broke down in tears.
That night, I cried out of hurt and fear that those comments could affect my future. I was scared that prospective employers might see them or that people might hear my name and think, She’s that girl I read about on JuicyCampus. But I knew if I lashed out on the site, I’d be more of a target. Those words still haunt me, but the posts have been buried under newer ones and have hopefully been forgotten. And my family, friends, and boyfriend helped me move on by reminding me those posts don’t reflect who I am.
As a starry-eyed freshman, I thought my roommate and I would do everything together: Eat, study, watch Project Runway. That’s not how it played out. While I dove headfirst into college life, she got a bad case of homesickness. I tried to include her in things, but her interest in hanging out decreased as the weeks passed. Our differing habits got in the way of friendship - she stayed up late, I went to bed early. We had different ideas on cleaning, and I hated her boyfriend staying over. But I didn’t speak up for fear of losing any friendship we did have. Instead I spent all my time out of my room. That turned out to be a good thing - I was in constant friend-making mode. I’d meet people in the study lounge or in rooms down the hall. I realized my BFF fantasy was unrealistic - you can’t be independent if you spend all day, every day, with one person. If I’d spent all my time in my room, I may never have met Danielle from down the hall, the college buddy I’d been hoping for.
The first time it happened, Dorothy didn’t think it was a big deal. So what if her first-ever boyfriend broke up with her because he realized, four months into what Dorothy thought was pure love, he was gay? Not a big deal; one in 10, right? The second time — when she hid in the guys’ locker room to surprise her football-player boyfriend after practice and was instead treated to a serious necking session between her bf and the tight end — it was coincidence. The third time, when her boyfriend broke up with her the day before prom because he’d decided to go with Jeremy instead, it was heartbreaking (well, not really, but claiming heartbreak made it easier for her to beg off finding an emergency date and watch old episodes of My So-Called Life all weekend).
By Boyfriend Number Four, though, Dorothy knew the signs of That Conversation: the shaky voice, the averted eyes, and her lead-up questions like, “Wait. Do you have beard burn, [insert boyfriend name here]?” So, when her new boyfriend, Geoff, called her up and asked if they could “talk,” Dorothy knew she’d need strength. Cupcake strength. By the time he arrived at her place, she had a trayful of cupcakes and seven different colors of frosting — one for every color of the rainbow. He took one look at the array and sighed. “How’d you know?” Geoff asked. “Practice,” Dorothy said. “But can we still be friends?”
Yes-My-Ex-Boyfriend-Is-Gay Mini Cupcakes
1 1/2 cups flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup water
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1) Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease an 8-inch-by-8-inch cake pan with oil and line the bottom with parchment paper (waxed paper will do in a pinch).
2) Put flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, and sugars in a bowl. Stir to combine thoroughly.
3) In a separate bowl, mix together vegetable oil, water, and vanilla until thoroughly combined.
4) Pour the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients in three additions and mix until the dry ingredients are incorporated. Do not overmix.
5) Add apple cider vinegar to bowl and stir quickly to combine.
6) Working quickly, pour the batter into the pan.
7) Bake 25 to 30 minutes, or until top of cake springs back when gently touched. Let cool thoroughly.
8) Remove cooled cake from pan by taking a piece of firm cardboard and inverting pan so cake is resting on cardboard.
9) Take a small glass with a diameter about an inch across and at least as tall as your cake. (A small, round cookie cutter is best if you have one.) Press the inverted glass or cookie cutter into the cake to cut out a mini cupcake. Discard the scraps.
Rainbow Frosting
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
Assorted food coloring
1) Cream shortening and butter with an electric mixer 3 minutes on high speed, until thoroughly softened and combined. Add vanilla and stir to blend.
2) Gradually add sugar, one cup at a time, beating well on medium speed and scraping down sides of bowl between additions.
3) Add milk, a tablespoon at a time, mixing thoroughly. Add only enough milk to get a spreadable consistency.
4) Divide frosting into a number of small containers (as many colors as you’d like to use in decorating). Use food coloring to tint frosting as desired. Set aside half of frosting of each color.
5) Spread frosting onto mini cupcakes using a butter knife in a swirling motion to make it look bakery-pretty (it’s easier than trying to make it perfectly smooth).
6) Use rest of frosting that you set aside to make frosting “shooters”: Put each color of frosting in a plastic sandwich bag and cut off corner of bag with scissors. Squeeze a dollop of frosting into mini party cups and arrange in a rainbow shape next to the mini cupcakes, so that people who want extra frosting can take a “shooter” along with their cupcake.
I always kind of expected college boys to be sophisticated. Well-informed. Tolerant of diverse viewpoints.
Well, I’ve only been in college a week, but so far, I’m disappointed. Today, I had my first real (college) political conversation with someone who views the world a bit differently than I do. Instead of sharing some fresh insights, he called my ideas “stupid,” “retarded,” and “wrong” followed by a “no offense. Want to hang out tonight?” How cute. And if you’re reading this, buddy, I’m busy.
But maybe my expectations for college boys are too high. I mean, look at our presidential candidates and their campaigns. This has been a devastating time for the economy, and a lot of taxpayers (like our families) may have to shell out a lot of money to fix things. And instead of talking about their plans for coping with the Wall Street disasters, both campaigns immediately cast blame on the other candidate. They seem to ignore the fact that ¾ of the November presidential ticket (that would be Obama, Biden and McCain) were in the Senate when problems began. They’re all partly responsible for this mess, but no one is stepping up to take some of the blame.
Remember back at the beginning of this election, both McCain and Obama promised to run a “different kind” of campaign? A campaign that avoided mudslinging and politicking, and focused on the issues instead? What happened?
Maybe politics is just inherently dirty. A game where all people care about is winning (even if they want to win so they can accomplish good things) isn’t the best environment to promote respect. But maybe that’s where we need it most.
And if our presidential and senatorial and congressional candidates don’t recognize that, then we should. We can start by being respectful of each other. Talk to your crazy-liberal best friend or off-the-charts-conservative boyfriend. Really listen to what she or he is saying. Try to understand where these views come from. You don’t have to agree, but you also don’t have to get into a shouting match. Our politicians still don’t seem to get this, but name-calling does nothing constructive.
If we can relate to each other despite political divisions now, then maybe, by the time we run for office, a “different kind” of campaign won’t be a broken promise—it’ll be our reality.
xoxo,
Katie
katieg@cosmogirl.com
Before you go anywhere, head to AA.com for great deals on flights.
Starting a new year at school is always overwhelming. You’re a grade higher, and ready to take on a new semester of classes. However what happens when you bite off more than you can chew?
Even in college, when there is less class, juggling everything can be tricky. It’s only been four weeks into school, and already I am challenged to balance my academic, social and extra curricular activities. I figured I probably wasn’t the only one and thought I’d share with you how I keep on top of things!
Keep a planner. I write everything in it. I have so many meetings because I’m an RA and have a leadership position in a club, so every meeting is highlighted in pink. Work hours are highlighted in purple, assignments due are yellow, exams are blue and gym is orange. Therefore, I never miss anything, because it’s brightly labeled!
Keep to your schedule. Don’t skip out on class. It’s important to attend to do well, and use your breaks productively. I make it a point to have lunch with friends so we can catch up at that time, or go to the gym in between classes and meetings. Prioritizing your time will avoid procrastination as well.
Make To-Do lists. Sometimes we forget to do the smallest things. Making lists are constant reminders of what you must get done and when - even when it’s as little as “do laundry.”
Multi-Task. I work in a computer lab, where my primary responsibility is to answer questions and replace toner and printer paper. During my three hour shifts, I make sure I get homework done in the time I am just monitoring the lab.
Remember, a lot of times it’s better to be busy than idle. While you may feel overworked sometimes, do remember to make time for yourself, friends and family in the evenings and on the weekends. After all, even superwoman needs a break sometimes!
What’re you doing to keep on top of things?
xoxo,
Divya Bahl
print
email
share
