"You Can Have Him"

There are four words that every girl should have in her vocabulary.

Repeat after me, CosmoGirl readers: You. Can. Have. Him. String those together and you have one of the best phrases in existence – and one you should use often.

For those of you who don't know – let me fill you in. Girls fight over guys. Big shock, right? Truth be told, it's pretty normal and most of it is relatively harmless. Friends will stop talking to each other because of some imaginary, male-induced tiff. Girls will go to lengths to get noticed. What's most disturbing, though, is when girls become completely nasty to each other – they'll lie, manipulate and threaten, just to get their way.

Sound like high school antics that end after graduation? Think again. College is just as bad.

I've seen a lot of it firsthand. I know of girls who have been followed home and yelled at. I've heard of many girls being threatened with physical violence. I've even seen girls be talked about by people whose names they don't even know. Nobody is immune, even if you don't talk about others – I've had people talking about me when they've never spoken to me. I've even been told that I was at events I wasn't attending – and apparently talking smack while I was there. While I often wish I could be in two places at once, that wasn't exactly the situation I was envisioning.

Girls talk about each other because they're jealous, feel inferior, or feel like they're behind the game. But, instead of the stakes being a high-class handbag or a pair of shoes, reputations and emotions are up for grabs.

Bottom line? This behavior is unacceptable. Enter the wonder of the phrase “you can have him.”

No guy is worth your dignity or the inevitable mudslinging that comes with fighting over him. As tempting as it might be to call the other girl an insert-expletive-here, you'll only be bringing yourself down to her level. The solution? Stop, sit back, and take the high road. Refrain from retaliation and, if at all possible, stop your friends from muttering “downgrade” whenever they walk past her.

In the end, the drama only brings you down and blinds you from the people who really matter. Don't get sucked into someone else's manipulation. Instead, realize how lucky you are to have friends who listen when you call and who will make fun of people for you – even if you won't.

My point is – proclaim the doctrine of “you can have him.” If you don't, you might miss when something even better comes along!

Have you ever had a girl talk about you to get her way? Do you think my advice will work?

Honest to blog,
Margeaux Lippman
Web Intern