Guy Blogger: Why Your Crush Ignores You

Alright CosmoGirls, This week I thought I’d do something a little different. Instead of answering just one question, I thought I’d speak to a guy problem I’ve seen in a lot of your questions; Why do guys who say they like me, ignore me? This is an age-old question.

Here’s the bad news: As a guy myself, the easy answer here would be to say, “we’re just like that” because, in all honesty, we don’t know why we do it. A good rule of thumb to follow about guys (and you can quote me here) is that we are less emotionally mature than girls and this leads us to making really weird choices. I admit that I may have ignored my crushes when I was a teen guy (maybe always more than once) and I always did it to the girls that I liked the most. In some ways it’s a defense mechanism to prevent our feelings from getting hurt. If we don’t pay attention to you, you can’t hurt us. This behavior backfires (of course) because we don’t get to know you better and you are inevitably upset at us for being so cold and distant. So whenever you’re annoyed at us for doing this, just think how confused we are.

Here’s the good news: As a guy myself I can tell you that the vast majority of us grow out of this. While teen guys will continue to annoy and confuse you with this behavior for a while, we eventually round into shape in high school or soon after. While you girls will still manage to stay ahead of us in your emotional maturity, it does dawn on (most) of us that trusting, open conversation is a nice way of getting to know you. So bear with us for your teen years and I promise we’ll make up for it later.

An extra bit of advice: if you have a guy that you think shows promise just let him know that you like him too and even though you can’t promise his feelings won’t get hurt, it would be worth getting to know you. Who knows?
Thornton